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Is the growing market for male escorts a of female sexual liberation or just a re-run of the same old stereotypes? Their last meeting lasted six hours. And sex? I lost count. It was about local male escorts and it featured glossy pictures of young, buff men, rippling with muscles.
Hiring an escort seemed safer and more satisfying than casual sex with a random stranger: Tom not only has rave testimonials on his website but also uplo STD test once every three months to show he is clean it is a legal requirement in brothels in eastern Lonely mature female Callander that sex workers have quarterly Lonely mature female Callander tests and monthly swabs for STIs.
Initially cautious, Louise had booked an appointment to discuss the health risks with her GP. A lot of my patients see escorts. Now that many Australian states have legalised prostitution, women are buying sex in increasing s. The industry remains niche a IBISWorld market research report found that just six per cent of those using commercial sexual services in Australia were women. But it is growing; although exact figures are hard to come by, all the escorts I talked to described increasing competition and more demands on their time. Women buy services through agencies with rigorous recruitment processes, such as Aphrodisiac male escorts in Melbourne, run by two Australian mothers in their mids and which provides prostitutes to professional middle-aged women.
The high cost means most customers are women with disposable incomes. At Aphrodisiac, 41 per cent of clients are in their 30s, and just 10 per cent in their 20s. The majority are single 36 per cent or divorced 20 per cent ; 18 per cent are married. S o what do male escorts tell us about an underlying shift in female sexuality?
Western women today have more freedom, money and power than at any point in history. Yet for many, like Louise, the decision to buy sex goes beyond financial independence: it marks a brave new world of go-getting female sexuality, in which women can be as assertive as men in pursuing what they want. With the decline of the traditional family unit, some women — particularly career women who are cash-rich and time-poor — find it easier and more efficient to organise paid-for sex than to seek it at home, in a bar, or online.
Casual relationships or affairs can be complicated; hiring an escort offers control, an opportunity for sexual experimentation and exploration of fantasies without fear of judgment from a partner. The internet has also revolutionised the sex industry, making male escorts more visible and available, while ensuring discretion. In the past, sex workers operated only in brothels, on the streets, or by word of mouth.
Today, the majority advertise online. The successful ones have professionally deed websites, good-quality photographs, and post testimonials. For their female clients, making a reservation on the web followed by a clandestine meeting in a hotel or at home provides much-needed privacy. TV series such as Sex and the Cityand more recently Girlshave put female desire on the small screen, and opened up discussion about what good or bad sex means.
Hung zoomed in on the escapades of a well-endowed male escort, and there is even a reality TV series, Gigolosfilmed around the Las Vegas agency Cowboys4Angels. At Platinum X, which offers both male and female sex workers, it is no accident that the most expensive male escort is called Christian — the same name as the titillating anti-hero in Fifty Shades of Grey. Before becoming a male escort, he worked as a model, kick-boxer and stripper.
Since Fifty Shades of Greybatman has taken off. At the root of this gap — between physical urges and psychological restraint — sits societal shame. In What Do Women Want?
Bergner claims another misnomer is that visual stimulus is not especially important for the average woman. Studies with a vaginal plethysmograph a tool used to measure blood-flow and lubrication have shown that female response to visual stimuli is visceral, immediate and, in some cases, more pronounced, to a wider variation of sexual images than with men. In one experiment in by Meredith Chivers and colleagues at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, both men and women were made to watch videos of sex, ranging from heterosexual penetration to fornicating bonobo apes.
The apes proved a turn-on for women, whose blood-flow soared, while men reacted in much the same way to the primates as they did to mountains and lakes. But here comes the telling part: when asked, the women themselves reported less arousal than their bodies let on. In a paper, Terri Conley and colleagues at the University of Michigan found that women are no less interested in casual sex than men. But they are happier to engage if they expect the experience to be sexually satisfying and if they can remove any risk of stigma. Male escorts might satiate an impulse for variety and novelty in sexual partners — as important, Bergner argues, for women as for men.
Yet, while women finally taking hold of the pay cheque might seem like good news — a of their sexual unshackling — the escorting industry remains beset by gender stereotypes that act in the opposite way, reinforcing pre-existing, and often out-moded ideas about gendered sex roles.
H ow this plays out is telling. Female escorts in Australia are commonly available to hire by the hour, but most heterosexual male escorts require a minimum two-hour booking — with some even demanding a hour fee. Female sex workers often charge extra money for intimacies such as kissing; but male escorts are expected to kiss, caress, cuddle and massage their clients for no extra cost. The reasoning is simple: it is pd that their female clients want Lonely mature female Callander only sex, but a date, a counsellor, a friend. At Aphrodisiac, there are no images of the men.
Where female brothels resort to dirty come-hither phrases to advertise online, Aphrodisiac offers a Frequently Asked Questions that explains matters of safety and legality in plain, straightforward language. All this visual and verbal semaphoring serves to underscore deeply conventional assumptions about sexuality: among them, that men visit sex workers to sate their physical appetites, and that women primarily need emotional sustenance. The male escort industry, in other words, keeps gendered cultural habits, rituals and role-play around sex firmly entrenched.
This goes for sex workers as well as clients. While female escorts in popular culture are often depicted as victims who sell their bodies because they are desperate, abused or do not know better, male escorts are portrayed as heroes, and described in envious terms. As Vin Armani of the reality show Gigolos wrote in xoJane. I fell in Lonely mature female Callander with the game, became really good at it, people noticed, now I get paid to play.
E volutionary psychology is partly to blame for such attitudes. Men, we are told, want to sleep with multiple partners to spread their seed; women want just one good provider who will help raise their offspring. Likewise, the freedom to crave safety, comfort or intimacy in sexual experiences is more readily afforded to women. The reality is more complex, on both sides. Some women hire escorts to enjoy sex on demand, without complications. Some men hire female sex workers merely to talk.
They want someone realistic. Teela Sanders, a sociologist at the University of Leeds, found that men hire sex workers to fulfill their emotional needs — using the time to converse, confide or confess, with intercourse sometimes no more than an afterthought.
Not all women behave this way — but then neither do all men. Just as there is no typical female sex worker, there is, similarly, no archetypal male escort. Tom, for example, has his own business in the city as well as a wife who approves of his sideline income. Chase, a year-old escort who turns up to our meeting with a leather jacket slung around his shoulders and a motorcycle helmet at his side, could not be more different.
With his hipster haircut and razor-sharp jawbone, he is picture-perfect, though he comes across as a tad world-weary. Chase came to the world of sex work via an ex also in the industry. Mates like to congratulate him on winning the jackpot. A year-old Australian lawyer hired him to keep his much younger Asian wife entertained. Whisked by private jet to Melbourne, Chase went shopping, had sex and sipped cocktails. Escorting, he insists, is hard work. But that does not wash with the founders, whose female clients range in age from 18 to 70 and come in all shapes and sizes.
To eliminate amateurs, they ask applicants to complete a gruelling recruitment process. This sounds simple enough, yet performing for payment adds pressure: many male escorts use Lonely mature female Callander to maintain erections and often do not achieve orgasm. Society tells us that men are dominant and women are demure: there is some satisfaction in flipping this dynamic around.
Female sexuality might be as aggressive as male sexuality — if you take out the cultural component. But equally, male sexuality can be much more about emotional needs than carnal desires. If anything, what the new phenomenon of male escorting shows is that men and women who buy sex are more alike than we thought. As for the escorts, the job comes with sacrifices. Aside from Tom, none of the escorts I spoke to had managed to sustain any meaningful romantic relationship.
Or biting me really hard on the nipple and blood coming out. I like it rough, but Jesus Christ, not like that. Claw marks. When I say do not do this to me and they do… Yeah. Not pleasant.Lonely mature female Callander
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